Sometimes ago, I missed her and it hurt, I felt it.
These days, although I miss her but I miss her in a way that doesn’t hurt me anymore.
It does hurt soemtimes but I can handle it.
Sometimes I just stalk her social media profile to check if she has changed her profile picture or not.
I would love to see her new photos, but we don’t follow each other.
It was necessary as I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I don’t know what she’s doing these days.
I don’t know if she is doing well.
I don’t get to see her travel stories anymore.
Was it needed? I ask.
I had to keep a distance from her.
For I realized, it’s the distance that will kill my love for her.
Was it love? I ask again.
What do you call something, if you think about her when you wake up and before you sleep?
Isn’t it love? even if I know she doesn’t love me, I still have strong feelings for her, I answer.
My days are usual.
But I often think about her.
It hurt when she said, I was not into her.
How can she say so when I still feel her and love her?
My minds have opened, I know it was love and not an attraction, for she comes to my mind everytime.
I still feel her voice ringing in my head.
I can feel her hands in mine.
I can feel her head rest on my shoulders.
I can feel my eyes staring at her’s.
If it wasn’t love, why are my feelings so strong for her, who doesn’t even care.
I miss her but I have taken a vow.
A vow not to pursue her anymore.
A vow to let her stay in peace.
A vow to hurt myself instead but not to express a thing to her.
A vow to kill my love.
And a vow to miss her in my way.
(Missing her my way was written a month back. This time I have tried to refine it give it a new look. I was not in love with the first one. Was a lot more cribbing instead of trying to express how I feel. Hope you guys like this too. You’re messages are inspiring. Keep supporting ❤️)
(she/her is a fictional character and all the incidents are real. Any resemblance to someone living or dead or alive is purely planned. And also chickens were hurt.)
Avash Poudel's Blog 